Breakdown at Church

I don't know about anyone else....but having a breakdown at church is like the most embarrassing thing ever!! I was just fine for the first 3 1/2 hours but when it was time to pack Jocelyn's backpack up thats when I lost it. I told her to put her toys away and she yelled back, "NO!, You put my toys away!" Well, there went the water works. Not five minutes before did she headbutt me in my cheekbone and I took that like a man, but her talking back to me is like heartbreaking. Lately she has been doing it all the time. She screams at me that she wants a drink, then I tell her to do something and she always yells back NO! I don't want to resort to spanking or flicking her in the mouth when she does it, but I am about to have a huge breakdown if something doesn't change. If she talks back to me I tell her to be nice or go to her bedroom which obviously doesn't work cause she just yells back again with, "NO, you go back to your bedroom!" I am getting to the point of tears right now just thinking about it. The reason the tears came at Church was I had realized where she gets it from. (cause she obviously didn't just come up with it by herself) It comes from ME! Oh, my gosh. Do I really yell that much. I know I get frustrated cause I want her to listen to me and when she doesn't I just freak. What is wrong with me? I have desperately been trying to change but I think it might be too late for Jocelyn. People used to say how well behaved she is and polite and now they look at her and say wow she has a quick mouth doesn't she?! It breaks my heart. I need help and some major advice. Or I think I will be going to the looney bin by Christmas!

Maddison's 1st Birthday

Wow was this so much fun. I had my parents come up, Chad from St. George, and Scott, Melissa and baby Makai from Idaho. I can't believe they all came. Too bad Brent and his family couldn't come up. We missed them a lot. Anyways, the party went great. Maddie was so adorable and everyone just soaked her all in. I can't beliefe she is already one. She has grown up way too fast. I am starting to get baby hungry again but that can't happen anytime soon. Cause we need to finish our basement so we have some more room. Thank you to everyone who came to the party. We really appreciate it so much. I love you all.